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What the....?

Previously I wrote about online dating and all the nonsense involved with that. Here's a story from one of my experiences.


I matched with a guy who seemed great. We texted all day, every day for a week. We had in common so many things: movies, music, sense of humor. He was articulate in his text messages, which is always important to me. Someone who cannot communicate via the written word to someone who writes for a living is a no-go.


So after all this texting, we set up a dinner date. When he arrived, he seemed older and much thinner than his online pictures. A little worn out, kind of. "Get over yourself," I said in my head. "Don't be so superficial." Fine, self. I will rally. Onward.


The date lasted three hours. We talked, we laughed, we shared nachos. And then....."I have something to tell you," he said. Now, up until this point, we were laughing and joking, so I smiled, thinking he was kidding. "Well, what is it?," I asked, still tittering.


"I have an ankle monitor," he said.


I laughed, thinking he was kidding me. (And also, it was running through my mind - what is an ankle monitor exactly? Oh! One of those! Oh! Wait, what?) "You're kidding me," I said.


He said he was not kidding, and as a matter of fact, it was nearing 9 p.m. and an alarm would soon go off on his phone alerting him to the fact he needed to be back in his apartment by 10 p.m. curfew.


What. The. Fuck??


I was momentarily stunned into speechlessness, a rarity for me. When I regained my senses, I asked for what did he have on said monitor.


Get this: attempted murder and stalking!


What. The. Fuck???


I was glad we were in a public place and I hadn't yet told him where I lived or worked. Suddenly this date needed to end and I was glad the check was forthcoming. He said the charges were all bullshit concocted by his ex. She had a great lawyer, he did not, blah, blah, blah. Naturally, he didn't do it.

I didn't care about any of that. The justice system normally does not slap an ankle monitor on someone who's completely innocent. OK, there are cases, but you know what I mean.


He said he knew this was heavy, and he would leave it up to me to decide to contact him again. I couldn't delete him fast enough.


So what did this teach me? To not get my hopes up when a guy seems great in the beginning. To definitely not tell him where I live or work until we're several dates in and I trust him. Oh, and to check his ankles.

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